Tuesday, 23 August 2011


There was just nothing better than taking the steering wheel from my Granddad and aiming right for the fresh cowpats in the road!  If I got the wheel slap in the middle of the fresh turd... I got a point!  If I got five points or more...he would teach me another line from a naughty rhyme!

That sums up pretty much my relationship with my Granddad...He was and will always be the funniest man I’ll ever know.  It would be remiss of me not to mention him in my blog, all be the blog dedicated to Mama.  But without Mama there was no Bumps and without Bumps there was no Mama.  They were married for 57 years and they have set one hell of a goal for hubby and me.  Incidentally hubby and I are 15 years down the road...

“I’m forever blowing bubbles, pretty bubbles in the air” was one of his favourite ditties.  The emphasis on the last “air” is what made it so hysterical.  I guess you had to be there, but he pulled such a funny face at the last “air”.  Bumps had what we called a pair of choppers...false teeth.  He regularly liked to pull funny faces at me when Mama’s back was turned.  He became quite professional at pushing his choppers out to resemble Dracula type teeth.  This would send me into fits of giggles.  Bumps would put his finger to his lips in a gesture of “be quite” and the two of us would sit like naughty school children as Mama turned around to see what all the fuss was about.  If she caught him out during one of his antics her standard reprimand would be “Oh Mal, stop being such a dirty beast!” The love between the two of them remained evident until the very end.

I’ll share a secret with you... on our drives down the country lane, aiming for the fresh cow turds and easily scoring my 5 points.  Bumps sang a little song that Mama would have walloped him on the earhole had she known such a young girl was being taught... Here is goes:“Salome, Salome, me girl Salome...she can fight, fart, fondle “beep”, wheel a barrow, drive a truck – my girl Salome!” Now you can image what rhymes with truck... and although Bumps never said the “f” word... I knew what it was and felt ever so daring and grown up for learning this little ditty! 

There were so many naughty tunes he taught me, they were songs he and his fellow soldiers used to sing during the war... the 2nd World War of course.  He was a “radio ham” and was responsible for sending and receiving messages via the Ham radio and deciphering Morse code.  Bumps had a tin leg too. His right leg got gangrene and he had to have his leg amputated just below the knee.  On one if his missions, there was poor radio signal so he connected the radio to his tin leg and used it as an antennae!  There is an article written on this and I’ve got it somewhere...I’ll try find it and post it for you all to read.

Now Bumps loved to wind Mama up at the dinner table.  Remember I said how we used starched white linen and silver cutlery for dinner?  Well Bumps – who was a great fan of Dave Brubeck – loved to play “Take Five” on the crystal glasses with the silver knives as a pair of drum sticks! As Mama removed a glass from Bumps, I would pass him mine and so a merry game of pass the glass ensued.  This was a nightly affair, and every night was like the first.  I relished the joy and frivolity at the posh dinner table, but most of all I felt deeply secure and loved.

The recipe today is one of Bumps’ favourite things to eat...roast spuds.  Mama had a special way of making them so that they were golden and crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy inside. Bumps used to nip one from the middle of the table when Mama was still busy dishing up and pop a hot spud into his mouth...then create the most amazing noises of rapturous appreciation for the spuds...

Mama’s spuds

What you need: (enough for four persons)
  • 4 large spuds - peeled and cut into quarters
  • 2 table spoons Lard and 250 grams butter for roasting (if you don’t have lard use Olive oil instead)

How to make:
  • Par boiled the cut up spuds in salted water, pour out the water and let the potatoes cool
  • Heat the oven on 230 degrees
  • In a large roasting dish put in the fats and place in the oven to melt, once melted add in your potatoes and give them a good mix to make sure they are all covered with the fat – the potatoes must have space around them – so make sure your dish is big enough
  • Roast for 40 minutes or until as golden brown as you like them.
  • Serve immediately. YUM

No comments:

Post a Comment